I never met anyone who took the Bangkok International Film Festival seriously. It was an excuse for the well-connected industry folks to get flown to Bangkok, eat great food, do some shopping and go out with other people on the film festival circuit all on the Thai government's tab. (I was never invited. Can you tell I'm a little bitter about it?)

From beginning to end it was something of a joke, with few foreign films being subtitled in Thai for local viewers and a line-up usually consisting of leftovers from other fests. It was run by a company in Los Angeles called Festival Management who seemed only to exist to run the Bangkok International Film Festival and they never seemed to do a particularly good job of it. And yet, every year, the Thai government sunk millions of dollars into the fest.

Why?

Oh, right. Festival Management was allegedly paying them millions of dollars in bribes. (Read all about it here) And their two owners just got arrested for it.

(This isn't going to go away without a nice, big juicy trial.)

So who is Festival Management? What better way to learn about them than to let their own website do the talking.

“The success of your film festival begins with your strategy. At Festival Management, we excel in creating and executing strategies for film festivals.”

Strategy number one: According to the FBI affidavit that includes paying bribes. And  $1.7 million doesn't just fit in a small briefcase like you see in the movies. So, already it's clear that you need our team just to help figure out how to fit all that money into a set of bags and cases. Already we're creating and executing strategies for you!

“We specialize in the art of positioning your festival. We begin with a careful survey of the landscape and then create a strategy for success, whether it's a genre niche, marketing niche or new filmmakers from India.”

Genre niche? Marketing niche? New filmmakers from India niche? Got it. Okay, what else?

“Programming is an art not a science.”

Arts: underwater basket weaving, window treatments, programming a film festival.
Sciences: physics, math, other hard stuff.

Got it. Then what?

"When your festival needs complete programming or assistance in one area like finding new filmmakers in India, please contact Jennifer Stark."

Again with the new filmmakers from India?

"Festival Management supports film festivals with Special Events."

"The excitement of celebrities is the high-octane fuel of special events. Our access to Hollywood ensures that you can have the ideal celebrities at your special event."

Here's some of that high-octane fuel from past Bangkok International Film Festivals:

"Festival Management can lead your team, out front, or we can be behind the scenes to make certain your team gets all the attention. It's your choice."

Look at us! We're in front of your team!

 

Thanks, Festival Management! This week would have been so much more boring without you.

(For more coverage, go here)

(Or any of these links because everyone is covering it)