Thai horror film ART OF THE DEVIL wasn't all that and I've been hearing mixed things about ART OF THE DEVIL 3 (although it's become a massive blockbuster in Thailand) but ART OF THE DEVIL 2 was all that, a bag of chips and a big, cold can of Schlitz. Easily the most disgusting and squirm-inducing horror movie ever to come out of Thailand it was a throwback to the bad old days of crunky black magic movies where people vomit worms, eyeballs get pierced and legs are blow torched until the skin comes off like overcooked chicken.

Now, the production company behind BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU'RE DEAD, Cerenzie-Peters Productions, has bought the rights to do a remake of the ART OF THE DEVIL flicks with a focus on ART OF THE DEVIL 2. And who is the co-producer? None other than Colin Geddes, longtime Hong Kong film fan and the programmer of the Toronto Film Festival's Midnight Madness section.

Midnight Madness is where Eli Roth had his first "boy meets world" moment with CABIN FEVER, where Takashi Miike presented ICHI THE KILLER to 2000 screaming fans and where ONG BAK made its North American bow, sparking a bidding war in the lobby and launching Tony Jaa's career. So it was with mixed feelings that I read the following email from Colin that arrived in my inbox this morning.

"To Whom it May Concern,

As you may have heard, I, Colin Geddes, am now co-producing the remake of ART OF THE DEVIL and this will cause some changes to occur in our relationship. Don't take this personally. If you have received this email you are among my 847 closest friends and not many people can say that. Currently I dwell in a world that I doubt you would be able to "handle" or even understand. I am in casting meetings for most of the day trying to find the right actor to play the role of the evil wizard in ART OF THE DEVIL: THE REMAKE and have already had to tell Christopher Lee and Ian McKellen that we are looking for actors who will bring a bit more to the table performance-wise. Perhaps you think I am exaggerating but have you ever had to, on the same day, tell Della Reese that she's too old for a part and Miley Cyrus that she's too young? It takes it out of you, and it's only through a strict regime of aromatherapy that I am able to maintain my schedule.

Our lives are moving in different directions. I am co-producing a major motion picture. You are scum. I now sleep on a bed woven from Arabian slaves, specially chosen for their softness and comfort. You sleep on the futon of failure. This will be a difficult time for you, but I can't do anything about that.

I hope you attend the opening weekend for ART OF THE DEVIL: THE REMAKE, and please, if you see me again, address me as Sir Colin.

All the best in your future endeavors,

Sir Colin of Geddes"

Goodbye, Sir Colin. Enjoy your ride on the fame boat while it lasts, but as I once learned, Hollywood only wants you while you're young and pretty. Once your looks go, they'll throw you back in the gutter and before you know it you'll be doing donkey shows in Tijuana just to be able to afford a shot of "liquid talent."

(Like many Hollywood moguls, Colin Geddes has a blog)

(Cerenzie-Peters Productions official website)